When Jesus wept: Revealing the compassion of God

For those of you who don't know me all that well, I have always been a very sensitive person, which leads me to feel my emotions deeply at times. Earlier in my life, I have viewed this trait as more of a curse, because I did not have good coping mechanisms for managing what has sometimes felt like an overwhelming weight of carrying those emotions. One of the things that has always affected me very greatly is death. I wouldn't even have to know a person, but just know of them and their situation, to be deeply moved by their departure from this world. If I knew their loss left a hole in someone's family, and that others were mourning and grieving for them, it felt hard to go on with my normal day-to-day routine, and I would often find myself in tears just feeling sad for them. Formerly, I would typically manage my heavy emotions with the use of substances, because it was just too much to carry that by myself, and it would feel crushing to me to sit in those feelings for too long.

It is of no surprise to me that over the last two weeks since Charlie Kirk was murdered, I have felt waves of sadness come over me quite frequently. It's not so much that I grieve for Charlie himself, although there is a bit of that over the injustice of his tragic ending, but I feel the grief on behalf of his daughter, wife, and family especially. Regardless of whether or not you agreed with the things Charlie said on politics, he was a human being who had a wife, children, family, and friends, and he was murdered in cold blood for how he engaged with people in debate and discussion. I know that Charlie loved Jesus Christ and trusted him as his Lord and Savior, so I don't grieve for him, because I know that he is with Jesus now. Even so, his violent murder sparks an anger and sadness within me as I contemplate and ponder the question: how could this happen in our world? The weight of the injustice is almost too much, so what do we do with that?

I woke up this morning as I have almost every day since Charlie was murdered, feeling the weight of his family's grief, in tears as I thought about the massive hole that was ripped into the fabric of their family. Today though, I was reminded of an incredibly short, but powerful verse, from the life of Jesus:

"Jesus wept," -John 11:35.

Jesus Christ, our Lord, who was fully God, and fully man, wept in the wake of his beloved friend Lazarus' death. If there was nothing more than grief going on here, it would still be powerful to see that our God felt the same emotions that we do while he walked on Earth. I want to show you though, that this shows us far more than a God who loves us. In order to see what else is going on here, we need to look at some of the surrounding verses for context. Lazarus was the brother of Martha and Mary, who are talked about in other accounts of Jesus. Lazarus was also a beloved friend to Jesus and the disciples, and we get a glimpse of the heaviness of their grief when Jesus first tells them that Lazarus has died, with Thomas' reaction:

"So Thomas, called the Twin, said to his fellow disciples, 'Let us also go, that we may die with him,'" -John 11:16 ESV.

When Lazarus died, many others came to pay their respects to Lazarus and to console his sisters, Martha and Mary, as they were both feeling the heavy loss of their brother. Jesus was not with them when Lazarus dies, as the text says "...when Jesus came, he found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb four days," -John 11:17. When Jesus arrives, the sisters are notified and Martha is the first one to run to go to him. After Jesus talks with Martha, he calls for Mary and she comes out to meet him. Between the two sisters, it seems to me that Martha may be the more "logical and practical" one, and Mary has her emotions on full display when she goes to Jesus, as we see here:

"Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, 'Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died,'" -John 11:32 ESV.

Lazarus, Martha, and Mary knew that Jesus was the Messiah, that he was God in the flesh, and that he had power to do incredible miracles, and yet Lazarus died. I have to imagine that for possibly both the two sisters, there may have been some uncomfortable feelings of wondering why Jesus didn't show up earlier and heal their brother, knowing that he could have if he wanted to. Even so, Mary confesses her faith in Jesus as Lord, as she weeps and acknowledges to him that Lazarus wouldn't have died if he would have been there. In the text that follows, we begin to see something happening with Jesus, as he is confronted more with the heavy emotions of his friends. In most translations of the following verses, we see that Jesus was "deeply moved and troubled" in his spirit. I like the Amplified version here, because it adds some additional text that I think helps us to frame what might be going on with our Lord:

"When Jesus saw her sobbing, and the Jews who had come with her also sobbing, He was deeply moved in spirit [to the point of anger at the sorrow caused by death] and was troubled, and said, 'Where have you laid him?' They said, 'Lord, come and see,'" -John 11:33-34 AMP.

You see, it isn't just that Jesus is sad for his friends, no, there is something much greater going on here, and I think the AMP translation is getting at that. Jesus knows that death was not part of the original plan and design that he had for the world. Here, we see the intersection of Jesus' divinity and humanity, as he feels such compassion and grief for his mourning friends, and anger over the fact that death was never supposed to exist. How can we be sure that this is what is going on here? Well, I think if we look at a few other verses in this chapter, it supports this. For instance, when Jesus is initially told that Lazarus is sick, he responds by saying:

"But when Jesus heard it he said, 'This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it,'" -John 11:4 ESV.

Jesus then proceeds to stay put two more days before going to the home of Lazarus, giving enough time for Lazarus to die, as we see here:

"After saying these things, he said to them, 'Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.' The disciples said to him, 'Lord, if he has fallen asleep, he will recover.' Now Jesus had spoken of his death, but they thought that he meant taking rest in sleep. Then Jesus told them plainly, 'Lazarus has died, and for your sake I am glad that I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him,'" -John 11:11-15 ESV.

You see, Jesus knew from the start that he was going to resurrect Lazarus, which he goes on to do in the following verses after he weeps. If he knew that Lazarus wasn't going to stay dead, I would have expected him to be the only one with a smile on his face, possibly even excited, as he got ready to reveal his power over death to all of those present. This is not what we see though, we see a Savior who weeps because he is moved by compassion for his children, knowing that it was only because of humanity's sin that death entered into the picture. We know this because of what Genesis teaches us in the creation account after God placed Adam and Even in the Garden of Eden and gave them instructions for living in the new world, with a clear warning of what would come if they chose to reject his plan and purpose for them:

"And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, 'You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die,'" -Genesis 2:16-17 ESV.

Death, pain, and suffering are extremely difficult things for anyone to walk through, whether you believe in God or not. Belief in God does not mean we walk through this life feeling any less of the effects of sin then everyone else, but we know something that the rest of the world doesn't, something that we can take immense comfort from: that God is not unfamiliar with the pain and suffering of this world, as he experienced and carried the weight of it himself, as is clearly prophesied in the book of Isaiah:

"He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed," -Isaiah 53:3-5 ESV.

Each one of us bears the consequences of our sin, there is no such thing as a "good person" who can get to God based on their good works alone, "...for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," -Romans 3:23 NIV. Although we can be assured that pain, suffering, and death were not part of God's original plan for humanity, clearly he allows it. We may never be able to answer the question of why God allows pain, suffering, and death in this world, but we can know one thing for sure: that it isn't because he doesn't love us. On the contrary, it is because of his infinite love for the world that Jesus came and entered into the same pain and suffering that we experience, even the excruciating pain of death on a Roman cross (John 3:16), paying the penalty due to everyone of us for our sin that would otherwise separate us from God for eternity, so we can instead be with him forever. God came into our world as Jesus Christ, and as a result, he understands and has experienced all of the pain and suffering, and temptations that any of us could ever face, and he will never leave us alone, for he has promised he is with us always:

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has ascended into heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need," -Hebrews 4:14-16 NIV.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you," -Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV.

As long as we are in this world, we will experience troubles and sorrows, as the result of our own sin. Humanity was broken from the moment our original parents chose to rebel against God. Even then, God had a plan to redeem us from the consequences of sin (Genesis 3:15), and he fulfilled that with Jesus. We know from scripture that eventually, this world will pass away and a new heaven and new Earth will replace it, but until that time, we walk through the difficulties of this world with the choice to hold on to the hope we have in Christ. This hope is not empty, it is based on who scripture said he would be, who he demonstrated himself to be in fulfillment of those prophesies, the power he displayed over death by his miracles and ultimately his own resurrection, and who he still reveals himself to be as he continues to change the hearts and lives of those who place their faith in him.

One of the reasons I personally believe that God allows pain and suffering in this world is because it is possibly the only way to wake us up from the comforts of this world, to the reality that there is more to this life than what we see, and that good and evil are real. I have experienced this firsthand when my mother-in-law passed away several years ago. At the time, I struggled with massive waves of grief and feelings of loss, and I asked God many times why this happened, after I had prayed so much for healing, and knew that he could have prevented her death. After seven years since she passed, I can look back now and see that her death caused a chain of events in my life that lead to personal growth and stronger faith in God, more than could have ever been possible if I had not gone through something so traumatic. Even though Satan uses evil to try and destroy us, God always uses it to draw people to him and to wake us up. We see this in Genesis after Joseph is sold into slavery by his brothers, but in the end becomes a powerful person in Egypt and uses his influence to save many lives:

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today," -Genesis 50:20 ESV.

As Christians, we can walk through pain and suffering differently than the rest of the world, because we know that death is not the end. We know that our faith is in God, who demonstrated his power over death in the resurrection of Lazarus, and of Jesus. When we struggle with doubts over his character, wondering how he could possibly allow pain and suffering in this world, we are reminded that he himself led a life of sorrow, of being betrayed by those close to him, and of unimaginable pain in his own death when he walked on Earth, and we can take comfort in knowing that he understands what we are going through. We have a savior who grieves at death with us, as we see how he wept out of compassion for those mourning Lazarus' death. The question for us as we walk through the pain and suffering in this life, is whether or not we will trust him, even when we don't know the answer to the question of why he allows these things to happen. Do we believe that he is who he said he was, and do we believe that he is a good God, even when our emotions may tempt us to think otherwise. I am here to tell you that you can trust him. He is who he said he was, and death is not the end. When you are walking through pain and sorrow, instead of trying to escape with substances or other forms of escape, allow it to push you closer to Jesus, because he understands. We can anchor ourselves to Christ and his promises to us, as he revealed to Martha in her grief for the loss of her brother:

"Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?'" -John 11:25-26 NIV.

The day God showed up for my son's birthday

As far as anniversaries and special days go, today is up pretty high on my list. For one thing, it's a very special day in my family because it is the day that my youngest son Edwin was born. As if that wasn't enough, he shares his birthday with a cousin, and with my Grandpa too. Besides the beautiful celebration of life in my family on this date, it also marks a very important date in my personal journey of faith, as it intersects with my sobriety story, marking 14 years since I gave up drinking alcohol permanently. Although I would like to be able to say that was the beginning of completely sober living for me, really it was just the start of recognizing a pattern of addiction that would take me many years to overcome with the Lord's help. I believe this moment was a "fork in the road" moment for me, as far as which way my life could have gone based on my own decisions. It was also a defining moment in my faith in God, because he showed up in a very big way to help me make the best decision on this issue, and I realized that I couldn't do it without Him.

In order to fully understand the significance of this anniversary date and what it means to me, I'd like to show you how it fits into the larger story of my life and my walk with the Lord. In order to do that properly, I have to start at the beginning. Having grown up without religion, and around various addictions, it is not surprising that I began to use drugs by the time I was in middle school. I initially tried various drugs as a way to fit in the with group of kids I was hanging out with at the time, and I found that I enjoyed the escapism and alternate realities that those substances offered to me. After some conflict in school that happened with those same friends I was hanging out with, and a few other life events that happened, I quit using drugs for the time being, and hoped it would be a permanent change.

During the summer that followed that school year, my siblings and I went to visit my dad and stepmom in Tennessee, as we had done for several years before, but this time was different: they had recently become Christians. After observing their different behavior and change in lifestyles, I could not deny that something happened that was real, because the changes were obvious. This provided evidence of God that I had never seen in a personal way like this before, so I was intrigued about it. As time went on, we attended church with my parents, and I saw changes in some cousins that also were living in the area at the time, and had also given their lives to Christ. It seemed to me like God was doing something right in front of my eyes, but it was so new to me, I wasn't sure how this could be possible...was God actually real? The wheels of thought in my mind were turning as I tried to make sense of everything that had happened and changed within my family, and eventually I found myself confronting the very question of God's existence in my own life.

One Saturday evening, we had some of our cousins over to spend the night, as we were all going to go to church together in the morning. My cousin Richie, who I really looked up to at the time and is still like a brother to me to this day, challenged me and said that I should "go up to the altar" at church tomorrow and give my heart to Jesus. Was that really something I could do? I wasn't even sure if I believed in this yet. Sure, I could see the evidence all around me, but how could I know that it was real? As I tried to go to bed that night, I couldn't get this idea out of my head, and with no other options that I could think of, I decided to pray the first real prayer of my life. I talked to God out of the sincerity of my heart, and I told him that if he would show me that he was real, that I would give my life to him, and I meant every word of it. The very moment that I prayed that prayer, I felt a warmth, peace, and joy come over me that was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. Having done quite a few drugs the year before, this was different, this was unlike any of those experiences. I don't know how long the experience lasted in terms of actual time, but I knew that my prayer was just answered in a very personal and powerful way, so my mind was made up. The next day at church, I went with my cousin up to the altar and told the Lord Jesus that I knew I needed him, and that I wanted to give my life to him. At the age of 14, I don't think I fully understood much about what that really meant, but I knew that God was real, and I knew that I wanted to live for him. For the first time in my life, I was a professed Christian who loved Jesus.

When that summer came to a close, we went back to Wisconsin and moved to another city due to a job change for my stepdad. This felt like a blessing at the time because I had lots of fear about having to tell my old friends that I was a Christian. Although I didn't fully recognize it for what it was at the time, I know looking back now that I had massive insecurity issues, which is why I was frequently willing to compromise on beliefs and engage in activities I may not have done otherwise, in order to fit in with a certain group of people. This move offered a chance to start with a clean slate with my new faith, and to try and get a firm foundation underneath me. Things started off well, but the job changed turned out to not be great, and after a semester we moved back to the city we just left, back to my old group of friends. Initially things kept a similar rhythm for me, as I got involved with a youth group, and made new friends at the same high school. My old friends were still there though, and I slowly started hanging out with them more and more. By the time I was in my junior year of high school, I had stopped attending youth group and had started doing drugs here and there again. By my senior year of high school, I was dealing with some childhood events that put me into a deep depression and for the first time in my life, I was using drugs to numb emotional pain, often just to get to sleep at night so I could stop hearing the suicidal thoughts that kept going through my head. Smoking weed became the way that I got through tough times, because I just didn't have any other healthy coping skills yet. Numbing out was really all I knew how to do if things got hard in life, and although my faith in God was still very real, I continued to really struggle with my depression for some time.

Eventually after talking about suicide with a friend, he notified my parents out of concern for me, which set off a chain of events that became a journey for me where I learned a lot about mental health and counseling. I tried a traditional method of counseling for the first time and gained enough tools to pull out of the depression and move on with my life. Within a couple years, I met my future wife, moved to Madison, and we got married within a year of dating. We started our life together, and I made new friends, many of which I still have today. Although life was going very well, I continued on what I eventually observed to be a roller coaster effect in my life of leaning heavily into my Christian faith, and eventually falling heavily back into partying, using drugs and drinking a lot of alcohol. I did this for years, and my faith in God was genuine and never faltered, yet my struggle with substances was rooted in some stuff that I wouldn't begin to understand until many years later, so I kept on with this vacillation between a party lifestyle, and eventually trying harder to leave that behind out of conviction that it was wrong. As time went on, the substances began to feel more and more like a burden, although I wouldn't admit it yet. I began to hear from family members that I wasn't as fun as I used to when I drank, and in fact there were times when I was just outright mean.  This was a pattern that continued for years, and in the last few years of my drinking, there were several incidents that happened that increased in severity, and I could no longer ignore the reality that was right in front of me, although I tried to ignore it.

Things finally came to a head one night when we were at a friend's birthday party when Steph was pregnant with Edwin. I got wasted and didn't want to leave to go home, I wanted to stay and keep drinking with my friends. I was extremely rude to her, and said extremely condescending things to her that I would never say in a sober state. I was confronted by my actions the next day when she told me how I had treated her the night before. I was ashamed of myself. This was not the first time I had been ashamed of my behavior from drinking though, that was nothing new. Stephanie did something she hadn't done before this time, she challenged me to go without drinking for the remainder of her pregnancy, and she told me she didn't think I could do it. Initially, I agreed with her and said that I didn't think I could do it either, and in making that confession something got angry inside of me, and I couldn't believe what I had just said. Can I really not control my drinking? Am I really so controlled by this substance, that I am not willing or able to put it aside, when I can clearly see the damage that it is doing to my life? That was enough for me, and I decided to accept her challenge and prove to her that I was the one who was in control of my behaviors. From that day on, I planned on not drinking any alcohol until my son was born. Challenge accepted!

At this point in my story, you can pretty much fast forward at least six months or so, I quit drinking without issue, as I was only looking at it from a short-term perspective and had plans to go back to drinking again after our son was born. As it turns out though, God had something different in mind for our family. Within the last month or two before Edwin was to be born, I began to feel that God was putting this issue of drinking on my heart again, and I felt him calling me to think about the future of my family and to make a long term decision. Truthfully, I think that I knew I had to quit drinking for good, as I knew any return to it would end up with the same behavior patterns. In my stubbornness though, I didn't want to accept that. In God's patience and mercy though, he put several people in my life at just the right time and in those moments, I knew they were there to speak wisdom into my life and provide confirmation that the best decision for me to make, was to leave alcohol in my past. And yet, I couldn't get myself to make that commitment, there was something that felt risky and scary about giving that up, so I kicked the can down the road a little longer.

At this point I need to tell you some additional information about our son that was going to be born soon: we did not have a name picked out for him yet. We had almost no difficulty in naming our first two children, but to date, we could not agree on a name combination for our second son. It was not for lack of effort either! We had tried so many name combinations, there were ones I liked and she didn't like, and vice versa. We had gone around and around on the baby name websites, and we just couldn't come to an agreement, and we were both very bothered by this. A name is something serious though, you can't just pick a name out of a hat, it has to mean something! As the father to another son about to be born, I began to feel a degree of shame, and feeling like a failure, because I couldn't come through and figure this situation out for my family, but I didn't know what to do.

We came to the day that Edwin was to be born via planned C-section, and I eventually found myself alone in a surgical prep room as they prepared Stephanie for surgery, so we could welcome our new baby boy into the world. As I waited for them to call me into the operating room, the sound of silence in the room was deafening, and all I could think about was that my son was about to be born, and I did not know what to name him. I was completely devastated. I didn't know what else to do but to pray. I called out to God in a completely humble and honest prayer as tears ran down my cheeks. I asked the Lord to tell me what the name of my son was supposed to be, and in return all I could think about was that I had not yet made a decision about my drinking. I had not made my decision yet because of fear: fear of the unknown. What would my friends think? Drinking was a part of so many things for me, and it was intimidating to think of losing that ritual. But I was more terrified to not do what I knew God wanted me to do, and what my family needed me to do. At that moment, I made the commitment to never drink alcohol again. I told God that I really needed a name for my son, but even if He didn't provide that, I would still hold up to my end of the bargain and I was done drinking forever. I kid you not, the moment I made that commitment, I received the name Gabriel in my head. I was honestly shocked and at first I did not know what to do with that information. It wasn't until a couple days later when Stephanie was recovered enough from the surgery and I was able to share my experience with her, that we figured out that the name Gabriel was the puzzle piece we needed to finally name our newly born son. For the first time, we agreed on his name, and that was Edwin Gabriel.

To this date, I never drank alcohol again. As it turns out though, this was really just the first stage of what would take many years to recognize as not just an alcohol problem, but an addiction problem that was coupled with poor conflict and emotion management skills. The reality is that I went from alcohol to an Adderall addiction in a very short period of time. Eventually, more negative behaviors resulted from that and I again saw God's guiding hand as he gave me clarity about the potential destruction I was bringing into my life by continuing to use these drugs, and I eventually quit using that. In time, I switched back to weed, which I had used on and off over the years, and I continued to struggle with regular usage on that same roller coaster that I had been dealing with for a long time. Each one of these phases is another story, with many things learned along the way, and if I typed it all out I'd probably have a novel. Perhaps for another time. 😁

This experience is still as real to me as it was when it happened. If you aren't aware, Gabriel is the name of God's messenger angel (Luke 1:19). When I recall this story, or when I read in the bible about Gabriel, it gives me goosebumps to think of how God has met me in my requests of him throughout the years. In the case of my son Edwin's name, it wasn't until I stepped out in faith and did what I knew He was asking of me first. What is truly amazing to me, is that as time has gone on since I made my decision to give up alcohol, I have received so many confirmations that it was the right decision for my family, and in my heart, I know that if I hadn't listened, my family life would have probably gone in a very different direction than I wanted. God's plans are always the best plans, even when we don't fully understand why he may be asking us to do something, or if things are not happening the way we thought they would. We can trust in him even during those times when we are uncertain, because we know what kind of God he is by what he has revealed in scripture, and also through experience, if we are properly rooted in community with other believers, and by reflecting on things he has already done in our own lives. What I have often found to be true is that sometimes a situation may require a lot of faith on my part when I feel God's leading a certain way, but years later when I look back, I have an extremely high level of confidence at that point due to other things that happened along the way, that God's way was better, and my way would have been a disaster.

God is real. He is a personal God who cares very much about us. He cares about you. He loves you, and he cares about your life. You matter to him, in the big things, and in the small things. Whether you're facing a big decision like a drinking or drug problem, or whether it's because you can't figure out what to name your child, God cares, and you can take all of those things to him and ask him to help you find the right path or decision. Sometimes his answers come from reading the bible. Sometimes his answers come from a friend or a family member. Sometimes you hear a word of wisdom on a podcast you're listening to, or from the preacher's sermon that Sunday. Sometimes, you may hear him in your spirit. God interacts with us all in different ways, and I can't speak to why he does things the way he does, but I do know he's real, and he answers our prayers when we believe in him and talk to him sincerely. He's done it for me, and he'll do it for you too.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," -Philippians 4:6-7 NIV.

In Memory of Charlie Kirk

 

Today, we lost a truly remarkable and inspirational man, Charlie Kirk. To say that I am deeply saddened by his tragic murder is an understatement. Charlie was a devout Christian, who was unapologetic about his faith in Jesus Christ, and about his love for his country, the United States of America. Today, Charlie was taken from this life at the hands of a murderer, shot from a distance by a complete coward. Today, Charlie's family of a wife and two kids, lost their husband and father, because of the actions of this sick and disgusting individual. My prayers are with his family during this devastating time, and with the community that he built and inspired on a daily basis. I also hope and pray that the individual that did this is found and brought to swift justice, and that they repent of this wicked act and turn to Jesus, the only one who can save them.

As of this post, as far as I can see they still have not caught the perpetrator who did this unspeakable act of murder. We don't need to know the identity of this person to recognize this act for what it truly is at it's core: evil. Make no mistake, whether this is politically motivated or not, the true underlying cause of the battle we're witnessing is spiritually driven and not seen by human eyes, it is good versus evil. This battle has been raging on this planet since almost the very beginning, back when sin first entered into the world, when mankind decided to rebel against God and go their own way, instead of walking with Him and following His plan for creation.

Charlie was very outspoken about his Christian faith, and I believe it's the main reason he had a target on his back. The bible tells us that this is how it is in fact, if we listen to the words of Jesus himself:

"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. Remember what I told you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also. They will treat you this way because of my name, for they do not know the one who sent me," -John 15:18-21.

Jesus eluded to the hardships that went along with a life lived in service to him many times, yet it can be easy to forget that if we are not regularly in His word spending time with Him. It is not easy to carry the cross that Christ himself carried, yet we are called to that sort of life indeed, as he describes again in the gospel of Matthew:

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?'" -Matthew 16:24-26.

We don't follow Jesus because it's easy or glamorous, we follow Him because he is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). God is real, Jesus Christ is the son of God, who was fully God and fully man, was born of a virgin, died on a Roman cross, and rose from the dead three days later, proving He was who He said he was. This life is not all that there is, we all have an eternal soul that will go on to either live with God for all eternity, or to live in eternal separation away from God, depending on what we decide by the choices we make in this life. Charlie Kirk knew the gospel was true, and he lived his life in a way that was inspirational to believers across the world. Today, he got to go home to be with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

A temptation we can face as we struggle with the injustice of Charlie's death, is to allow ourselves to get caught up in hate, and to be guilty of the very thing that this person who killed Charlie was clearly guilty of: not seeing the worth of every human being because they are created in the image of God. Despite the difficulty, we are still called to share the gospel and love all people that are within our reach. Political and religious (among others) divisions cause people to dehumanize each other and lose sight of the fact that we are all human beings who are in need of a savior. We need to root ourselves in the message of the gospel, that Jesus gave His life to demonstrate to the world, and share the love of Christ with them, whether they deserve it or not in our opinion.

I can think of no better example of what this looks like than the parable of the good Samaritan, as shared by Jesus himself in the gospel of Luke. In this story an expert of religious law was asking Jesus how to inherit eternal life, to which Jesus asked him in return what the law said about his question, and the man essentially said in return: "Love God, and love your neighbor as yourself." After Jesus tells him he is correct, the man asks Jesus in return, "Who is my neighbor?" Jesus tells him the following story to illustrate the type of life that reflects love for God and love for neighbor:

"In reply Jesus said: 'A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him,'" -Luke 10:30-34 NIV.

The story goes on with a little more detail and with Jesus asking the expert of the law which man in the story was a neighbor to the man who was robbed, and the expert correctly answers that it was the Samaritan man, the one who showed mercy. It's easy to read this and miss a cultural point that makes all the difference, that Jews and Samaritans hated each other, they were mortal enemies due to longstanding religious and political conflict. Don't you see the parallels to our own time? Jesus is saying that despite the differences we all have if we don't have the same beliefs and worldview, we are still called to love each other. And here is what love should look like:

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends," -John 15:12-13.

Tensions continue to increase in our culture as political divisions increase and the potential for hate increases all the more. Hate is the work of Satan, as he hates everything that represents God, and he will stop at nothing to try to destroy those that follow Jesus. If you are following Christ and you have an easy life, maybe you should examine yourself and see if you are living too comfortably and not being public about your faith. If you are facing persecution, then you should consider that you might be increasing in your effectiveness for Christ's kingdom, which means you are a threat to the enemy. We don't have to fear death in this life, because this life is not all that there is, that is why Jesus told us so much about this subject. This is meant to give us hope for what is to come, so we will not be held back in our sharing of the gospel with the world. Now is not the time to retreat and back down from sharing the truth, now is the time to double-down and share your faith all the more. The world is hurting, because the world needs Jesus, and we are called to point to Him with our lives.

Thank you Charlie Kirk for how you lived your faith out loud, you were truly an inspiration, and although you are gone from us for now, we know we will see you again someday. May we continue to draw inspiration from the life you lived and be as bold as you were in sharing the good news of Jesus Christ with the world.

Jesus: Our Life Preserver

While enjoying the beautiful scenery of Glacier National Park in Montana, I was struck by the relevance of a warning sign at this remote, but serene mountain lake. While relaxing and enjoying the peaceful scenery, I could not imagine a scenario where a storm appears suddenly and unexpectedly here, yet the warning is there for a reason. Despite the fact that the lake itself appeared as smooth as glass, and besides the sounds of people nearby, you couldn't hear anything but the sounds of nature out here. A sudden storm, really?! Yes, I have been told that these little mountain protected lakes can be the perfect spot for weather conditions to change fast, churning up the water and generating large waves that could threaten to overturn a floating vessel as it rolls in.

So what are we to do, how do we enjoy the beauty of the mountains and lakes in spite of the looming threat of a storm that could pop up at any given moment? We go back to the warning sign and take the second bit of advice, which is critical to our survival not if, but when, the storms hit: "Life preservers required." A life preserver reveals a degree of planning ahead of time, and a realistic view of the potential risks ahead. The presence of a life preserver means that we knew the possible danger that could be ahead, and we took steps to make sure that we had a plan for when that storm came to us when we least expected it.

It's hard as a Christian not to see the parallels between this real life scenario and our spiritual walk as we go through life. As I ponder the relevance of this warning sign as it pertains to this beautiful spot in nature, I'm reminded of a very similar situation that occurred with Jesus and his disciples as they crossed a lake in a boat, when suddenly a storm blew in  from out of nowhere. To me one of the most striking details of this account is how Jesus fell asleep on the journey, and was still dozing even as the storm raged enough for his disciples to wake him up out of concern for their lives. Here is the account of this event from the gospel of Luke:

"One day Jesus said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they got into a boat and set out. As they sailed, he fell asleep. A squall came down on the lake, so that the boat was being swamped, and they were in great danger. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waters; the storm subsided, and all was calm. “Where is your faith?” he asked his disciples. In fear and amazement they asked one another, “Who is this? He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey him,” -Luke 8:22-25 NIV.

I believe that Jesus handled this situation this way specifically because of how relatable it is to everyday life, for every person. It is a real life example of what life often looks like for us, even in how we often respond to God during the trials we all go through. Jesus may have been asleep when the storm was raging, but he was still present on the journey, and he clearly wasn't surprised when he was awakened. His disciples revealed their lack of faith in their response to him, showing how out of balance their fear and anxiety was compared to their belief in God to care for them. I think the NIV translation of this in Mark says it best, "The disciples woke him and said to him, 'Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?'" Ouch! I have to wonder though how often all of us have responded in a similar way to Him, "Where are you God, don't you even care about me?"

Jesus responds to this accusation not by apologizing for being asleep on the job, but by calling out his followers for not relying on their faith in him. In Matthew's gospel Jesus replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” -Matthew 8:26 NIV. After he rebuked his disciples for not trusting in him, he then proves he is the son of God by performing a miracle and calming the storm, solidifying the faith of his followers even more. They are amazed that he is able to command even the forces of nature, and their confidence in his identity increases even more.

So as I put this all together, I wonder as followers of Christ, are we seeing the warnings of the Bible and keeping a realistic view of the sudden storms that will come our way, and are we taking the necessary precautions to plan for those turbulent times? Or are we too distracted, enjoying the scenery of life and not taking any notice of the signs at all? Jesus himself said to his followers, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world,” -John 16:33 NIV. How do we prepare our "life preservers" in a way that will actually keep us afloat when the stability of our life gets washed out? Once again, Jesus gave us the answer to this:

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash,” -Matthew 7:24-27 NIV.

Jesus himself is our life preserver, literally. A life preserver does not do any good for the occupants of a boat if it's just hanging in the cabin, it has to actually be put on before the storm arrives and sinks the boat. The same is true about Jesus. How does your faith look in practice? Do you actually trust Him to guide your steps and lead you through the rough spots of life, or are you always trying to save yourself? When life is difficult, do you ask Him to show you the holes in your faith so you can work with him to grow, heal, and patch things up to better prepare for the next storm, or so you just try to swim harder and longer? Where is your faith really at as you go through the storm, are you screaming at God because you can't believe he would allow this to happen, or do you still sense his presence even as the waves crash all around you, knowing he would never leave or abandon you? Does the storm draw you closer to God, or does it shipwreck your faith, because you didn't read the warnings and realize that life would still be filled with trials?

So do you have your life preserver prepared and ready, or so you need get it out of storage and dust it off? The thing about a life preserver is that it should do exactly what it's named for, saving life. The boat may still sink, and everything else may go down with the ship, but the precious life of of those who trust in the one who saves, they will be saved in the end. Yeah, in the gospels when Jesus calms the storm, it seems to me that all was saved on that occasion, but Jesus was proving that he was exactly who he said he was. The clear point he was teaching his followers was that if they knew him, they should know he was with them, and that they should trust him. The same is true for us today.

"If you declare with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved," -Romans 10:9 NIV.

Jesus saves those who confess faith in him. My faith is not in my own ability to navigate the storms of life, but in Jesus, my life preserver. In this life, sudden storms may appear, do you have your life preserver? I know I've got mine.