CrossCounsel Chili Cook-Off Testimony

I was given an opportunity to share my personal testimony and experience with CrossCounsel International Ministries at a Chili Cook-Off fundraiser, and I was honored to be part of the experience. Below is the transcript of my testimony that I shared at the event:

Shane Buol - CrossCounsel Chili Cook-Off Testimony

Hi, my name is Shane and I’ve been coming to CrossCounsel since August of 2023. I'd like to share with you a little of my own story, what brought me to CrossCounsel, and what this ministry has done for me.

I had a rough start to life, having young parents who both came from broken homes. I experienced a lot of dysfunction related to drug and alcohol abuse in my home, sexual abuse at the hands of some neighbors, and many other things. Thankfully though, my parents eventually became Christians and made efforts to provide a better life for our family. When I saw the power and love of Jesus changing my parents' lives, that brought me to a place where I was able to accept Jesus as my savior too.  Although my new faith in God had just significantly changed my life for the better, I eventually found that some of those old familiar feelings were still there inside. During my senior year of high school I was listening to some dark heavy metal music by the band Korn, which triggered negative childhood memories. I suddenly realized that the events of my childhood were not normal, and I sank into a dark depression. I tried a lot of things to try and escape the pain that I was carrying inside, including cutting myself, and using lots of drugs, but I couldn’t make it go away. After confiding in a friend that I was thinking about committing suicide, he called my parents and told them he was worried about me. Thankfully, my parents listened and got me into counseling right away. Although that counseling experience didn’t address the core feelings I had buried inside, it was still positive because it provided a way for me to reframe the past and move forward without wanting to end my life.

As an adult, although my faith in God was very real, I still found myself struggling with substance abuse in various forms. The Lord eventually showed me that I had a drinking problem, and after a personal encounter with him, I was able to quit drinking alcohol. Although this experience gave my faith a tremendous boost, I continued to struggle with other substances over the next few years, as I still didn’t know how to cope with negative emotions. As time went by, I began to realize that this was not a sustainable pattern. In 2018, I had been working long hours at my job, and my mother-in-law had just passed away from cancer. The stress of these events brought me to a breaking point, and I struggled to keep my emotions in check on a daily basis. I knew I needed help, so I set out to find a place that could help me sort through my issues. I went through counseling at two different places, and I did have some positive experiences by having a safe place to share and work through painful memories. Neither experience really got to the root of the false beliefs I had internalized though, so I eventually  found myself repeating behaviors that I could not seem to break free from.

Around this time, I had met Steve and learned about CrossCounsel for the first time after hearing him give a presentation on the ministry at the men’s group at Living Water Church. That tapped into something inside of me that said there was something unique about this ministry. Some time went by and I again talked with Steve about CrossCounsel when he had a booth at Living Water Church and was sharing more about what they did. At this point I began listening to their podcast, and I knew there was something different about how they were doing ministry, by bringing Jesus right into the middle of people’s deepest pain and suffering. Within a couple of months, I had a situation happen that made me realize I still had more work to do, but this time I booked an appointment with CrossCounsel and decided to give it a try. Within a couple of months I had several sessions, and I began to understand how the MELT process helps us to connect what’s going on in our present lives, to something that we felt or believed in our past. This was all about getting to the root of the problem, just like I had wanted to do for so long. Things were starting to click, and I could tell that something was happening every time I came to CrossCounsel and took my emotions to the Lord. Although I didn’t experience a profound truth and healing moment during every session, each one helped get me a step closer as the layers of my emotions were peeled back.

In October of 2023, I experienced the most profound moment of healing up to that point in a session. I had several memories surface during that session, and the Lord showed me that although I had felt unsafe in all of them, He was safe, and I could trust Him. The effect this had on me was immediate. Although I had  known in my head that Jesus was safe as long as I had been a Christian, I knew that my heart just believed it for the first time. It felt like a weight had been lifted off of me. In the coming months, I noticed that I didn’t have the regular desire to escape from negative emotions with substances anymore, and I became even more determined to do the work of troubleshooting them with God’s help.

I knew that I still had a lot of baggage to sort through, and this was only a step in the continuing process of sanctification we all go through as Christians. I was not discouraged by the work in front of me, so I continued to do more sessions, and a year ago to the date last month, I had another significant session where I again heard from the Lord as he revealed more truth to me. In this session, I went to several more memories and the Lord showed me how I had felt alone in all of them, but that He was there the whole time. My response was the same as before, I couldn’t believe the beautiful simplicity of the truth I had just received, and I felt a rush of happiness come over me as I again started smiling and laughing, in disbelief at what had just happened.

I’m still waiting to learn what exactly has shifted in me from that last session, but I can tell that something is different. Time will tell, and it will also show me what things I still need to look at, so I can continue to do the work needed to pursue His truth and healing in whatever areas he reveals to me. I am so grateful for the ministry at CrossCounsel, it is truly life changing, as my story testifies to. Although I have had several direct moments of healing that have had an immediate impact on my life now, perhaps the most significant thing I have received from their ministry is the realization that all emotions are a gift from God, and the negative ones reveal the things in us that need to be further refined, so that we might continue to be made more like Christ. This knowledge has given me a freedom that I have never known before, I no longer feel the weight of addiction that I carried for most of my life, and I no longer feel like I need to run away every time I feel something negative. It is an incredible feeling.

Thank you for coming out and supporting this incredible ministry. The donations from people like you, can truly make a difference for someone who is struggling, but just can’t afford to pay for a few sessions themselves. I can relate to this, because I have found myself in that same position and been on the receiving end of those donations on more than one occasion. Please consider donating to this ministry if the Lord puts that on your heart, it really does make a difference. Thanks again for being here.